Why Don't People Do Their Jobs?

Everyone has dream jobs when they are little. I wanted to be a monster truck driver. I was inspired after playing Microsoft's Monster Truck Madness. The help file even had a part dedicated to everything about monster trucks and what a driver needs in order to become one. I was hooked.

Then I decided that I should be an engineer instead.

Even though engineering is awesome, I think I missed the point. The true goal of a successful career is not to enjoy what you do and make money, it is to do as least as possible and make money.

Based on my personal experiences, I now present to you a list of the best career choices.

1) Banker

All you do is run a cash register. The best part? THE HOURS!! Those poor saps working 8 to 5 are missing the best things in life, like time with your kids after school. Bankers enjoy hours from 9 to 4:30, no weekends and no holidays [Regions]. Don't tell me they "show up early" to get started. What do they have to do? Unlock the vault? Best jobs have the best hours.

2) Professional Baseball Player

This was recommended to me by a friend. It makes complete sense. Anyone who watches baseball (better know as "try to beat the Yankees this year") knows it sucks. The people playing know it's boring, too! Unless you're the pitcher, life is a cake walk. You can make a metric ass ton of money just by standing around and holding your glove out when a ball comes your way. Unless you have real skill (or juice), you probably won't be hitting home runs all the time. So you'll probably just make on average $1.1M if you play on the Houston Astros (who?), or an average of $5.5M if you play on the Yankees [USA Today]. Easy choice.

3) Real Estate

This one is my personal favorite. Basically, you sell houses. Houses are expensive and the market is slow, however, we are comparing the ratio of actual work done to actual money received. In my limited experience with real estate, I know one thing, people who have houses for sale are impossible to get a hold of. I called 10 properties to look at. I only looked at 4 on the list, and turned down only 1. That leaves 5 properties that could have been sold, but no one called me back. WTF? How can they run a business when they don't do anything? It's amazing! Maybe the infomercials are true.

It all started when I was curious about my soon to be Thomas Estate. The property manager (RE/MAX Lazy Ass) was impossible to get a hold of to ask any kind of question about the property. After pulling a few teeth, I was told to submit an application. They couldn't even accept my overpriced application fee. After I filled it out online, I was directed to a pay site (kinda like PayPal), but that didn't work. I called the number to pay online (same PayPal like people) and they said they don't accept payment for them anymore. I call the RE/MAX office, and no one is there. It was 10am. WTF?

My agent is now wondering wtf is going on and why it is taking so long. If you are in the business to sell properties, why don't you sell them? How do you make money?

So here I am, really wanting this beautiful house, but the managing company reminds me of Twenty-One antics.

Being a grown-up sucks.

In other news, I finally got my dune buggy, Orange Slice, running today. I left her alone far to long in 21's parking lot. After new coil, plugs, wires, points, condenser, battery, new fuel, and halfway cleaning the carb, I got her halfway running. I couldn't get it to idle right without the choke on, so I jerry rigged the choke just like the previous carb was and took it around the property about 30 times. It was fantastic. The neighbors endured over and hour of loud, unrestricted, German pancake 4 banger air cooled engineering. 

Being a grown-up rocks.